And then I get this request that would ultimately change my trajectory (I felt like I was going warp speed into abyss for a while). It started out as a message in a sea of emails that had this subtle flickering light to it. I opened it but didn’t think too much about it. I actually thought it was a scam at first so I ignored it. But another flickering email was sent and I took a closer look. I re-read the original email with more intention and honestly felt scared.
But it doesn’t matter how many reasons for no I had. Something unexplainable nudged me to do this. Looking back with a clearer perspective, I truly believe this project was a gift from the heavens. Saying yes to this request gave me a sense of purpose and a reason to use my skills for good. It allowed me to revisit parts of myself that I had forgotten. It reminded me that I was an artist with or without a relationship. And that I was an artist even through my struggles. This was also the start of me climbing out of the deep dark hole I was in. I felt like I took the first step up from rock bottom when I agreed to this commission.
To help with closure, the client requested a custom design to honor his late wife. The design will also be engraved on a tombstone. You can now understand why I was initially reluctant to do this due to the magnitude of the scope in addition to my broken spirit.
But I guess sometimes an opportunity presents itself in unexpected ways even when you don’t feel ready. Perhaps I was meant to take this on as I was processing my own grief. My ego told me I had to be completely healed in order to do anything but divine intervention overrode my futile ego. I had the privilege of hearing his story of insurmountable loss and just happened to be in a place where I could fully empathize with his pain. I had been praying so hard for healing and maybe, in a weird way, my request was being answered through this commission.
This is the only commission that has brought me to tears. After the initial meeting with the client, I had to go out for a walk to process the conversation and the request. This was an emotional journey for me—one that I will never forget.
Their surname is surrounded by calla lilies, which were his wife’s favorite flowers. The flowers represent purity, faithfulness, and holiness. I drew five calla lilies to represent the couple and their kids. They are all surrounding the family name with connecting lilies to represent their unbreakable and interconnected bond. There is a circular base shape to the artwork to represent earth and one calla lily reaching for the heavens.
This piece has not only given me the opportunity to help with closure for this family, but for myself. Listening to his story and expressing my soul through this piece has undoubtedly helped me heal and has reminded me of my purpose. I am here to simply help others in whatever small way I can—using art as the medium.
All I can say is, the universe works in funny ways and this was what I needed to get back to myself.